Our family dinner has jets.
How’s your Fall going?!
Mine is fab, and it’s not because of changing leaves, or PSLs (although those sure don’t hurt!). It’s honestly because I truly feel closest to my kids and husband in the Fall.
We slow down. We gather.
We sit almost knee-to-knee with each other in a bowl of boiling water, look into each other’s eyes, and have actual long, drawn-out conversations.
We have HOT TUB TIME:
I’d love to tell you this is just a bonus to our nightly family dinners, where we enjoy a balanced meal and share the highs and lows of our day.
But that’s never been us.
Between everyone’s schedules and Jake’s and my apparent inability to establish this wholesome family tradition, we barely eat dinner at the same time, much less in the same room.
But when the weather cools down, we get in the hot tub usually at least a few times per week, and we talk.
I love that time. You hear things you miss when everyone’s passing through the kitchen looking for a charger.
But even when we make time to talk, figuring out what someone needs us to say back can be another story.
Recently, while Jake and I were getting ready one morning, I started venting about a social media post that hadn’t reached people the way I’d hoped.
It quickly became a broader reflection on how social media is exhausting and WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER.
Jake’s opening statement? “Babe, it’s not that hard.”
A bold choice. Let’s see where he takes this.
He had suggestions. A content calendar! Batching! Following people who share social media tips!
All useful. But all arriving while I was still just looking for him to simply say, “Ugh. I know. Social media sucks sometimes.”
Y’all. We had JUST been planning a session on helping people understand what kind of support they need.
Apparently, we’d reached the audience-participation portion.
But thanks to the Fehling Assessment, we actually had words for this now!
Jake naturally gives Coach support: Here’s what you can do.
I first need Wingman support: I’m here with you. You’re not crazy. I’ve been there.
Once I feel understood, I’m much more open to suggestions.
Before that, a list of solutions can sound suspiciously like a list of reasons I shouldn’t be struggling.
So I interrupted. “Babe. We literally just planned a session on this. What do I need right now?”
“My bad. Wingman. I hear you. Social media sucks sometimes.”
We laughed. Tension gone.
He didn’t have to guess. I didn’t have to silently resent his content calendar.
That’s what I love about this tool. It helps turn “You’re not getting it” into “Here’s what would help.”
It's helpful with your spouse. Your kid. The colleague you keep trying to encourage who somehow leaves every conversation more annoyed.
Sometimes we’re offering exactly the support we’d want, and missing what the other person needs.
Take the Fehling Assessment, then share it with someone you live or work with.
Already taken it? Pull up your results and compare notes: When something goes wrong, what helps you most?
Want help turning those conversations into better results at work? Let’s talk about a keynote or a workshop.
Whether you gather around a conference table, a dinner table, or the hot tub... understanding each other is a pretty good place to start.
Thanks for working to get on the same page with the people in your life… we’re all in this together!
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